The line of people at the registration desk snaked passed the originally allocated, roped-off area, way into the lane between the wooden benches filled with hundreds of seated people holding their clinquant place-ticket while looking up anxiously at the numbers above that identify the lucky next.
This is the new DMV, in a modern building, with instructed-to-be-friendly and by-the-book helpful personnel, a modern, electronic-line-system to move the vehicle-operating multitudes as efficiently as possible through registration, licensing and renewal.
This is a much better version of the DMV than when I registered my first car some 25 years ago. Back then you would have to allocate your entire day to the smoke filled dungeon, the lines were long, employees sat behind caged, bullet-proof windows and took pleasure in finding something wrong with your paperwork.
My 16 year old son had to go for his permit, and I found myself back in the midst of an eclectic assembly of humanity you could never find in virtually any other forum. There were a group of Jews in their black, matching outfits. Muslims wearing head scarfs and trying to restrain their children. A hip-hopper with tattoos on his neck. A tall black couple in designer clothes. Jamaican ladies trying to prove a point in that “Welcome to Jamaica” accent. Two girls who must have been entry level models. A friendly truck driver sharing his life-story peppered with colorful epithets, and me.
I was waiting for my son to get his picture taken for his license. He was still wearing his running clothes from track-practice earlier in the day, there was no time to go home and change, shave those persistent whiskers or comb his hair. Luckily the next renewal is in only eight years, and he can take a picture that doesn’t look like a celebrity mug shot, then.
With the passing of HR3590 Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act, the government will become heavily involved in my health, and your health. Now our system of care will be another efficient agency run by the government, like the fire department, Social Security, FDA and the DMV.
My congratulations to Michael Moore, “the people” are now running health care, just like in Cuba.
Ok, so although I’m getting close to resolving myself to the fact that we will now have “free” health care, I still find it difficult to believe that America took this turn, willingly. In Russia, it took Lenin and a revolution, in China it was Mao and the blood of millions, Pol Pot in Cambodia killed G-d first and then ruthlessly murdered those unwilling to conform, so as to live in peace, equality and with free public health care for all.
Fortunately, we’re much more civilized and gave way to the inevitable future like a promiscuous groupie to a rock star. But what will this future look like exactly? The ‘right wing nuts’ are saying that our taxes are going to go up, but the President promises a savings of 130 billion dollars over 10 years. Some folks are saying that care will be rationed, but the administration is promising to cover the 46 million uninsured while at the same time providing preventive care for all.
Well, I don’t know what to believe, but I thought since we now have to have a government agency distribute health care, it would be interesting if the DMV, being one of the more efficient public agencies, was put in charge of that lofty goal. Luckily there is one near my house, about a 15 minute drive, and although my registration is renewed every 2 years, usually by mail, and my driver’s license every 8 years, still the building is fairly packed with people at all times of the day, with a line forming outside an hour before it opens.
Health care on the other hand is something people need more often, if there are no problems, at least you would want a check-up once a year not every 8, and you can’t do it by mail. So you, along with some of your 300 million American neighbors would get on the information line, receive your waiting place-ticket, when called you would limp over to the window, trying to get circulation flowing back in your legs from sitting on the wooden bench, say hello to the friendly practitioner, trained in the most advanced health care techniques, taught by the ‘Public Medical College of America’.
They would pull up your records easily, because the government has them all electronically and securely stored at the Pentagon. He / She / Transgender would ask you how you’re feeling, maybe listen to your heart, place a wooden tongue depressor gently in your mouth and instruct you to say aaah as they check your throat. All vaccines, are now compulsory for those wishing to retain employment, thanks to the drug companies relentless commitment to educating our officials on the dangers of going without, so you get a flu shot, meningitis, AIDS, one from heart disease and TB, as well as Polio and Alzheimer’s … and they’re all free! A certificate of immunization, post your mandatory annual exam, will be made available at the Quarantine Department of the DMV.
As a side note, Thimerosal, a mercury-containing preservative used in most vaccines, and implicated in neurotoxicity resulting in autism, autoimmune diseases and death, has been reduced to trace amounts.
The American Medical Association (AMA), an organization that all doctors are now mandated to join, is in charge of all codes that coincide with the authorized modality (i.e. G0102 digital rectal exam $227.33), this version of the Workers Compensation Schedule reminds of the yellow pages, just a bit thicker with smaller text. Of course any approach outside those approved by a new agency that oversees the market-place called Quack Watch, have been eliminated, placing particular emphasis on all services that feed on the public’s fears, and profit on their misfortune. So chiropractic, naturopaths, nutritionists, holistic doctors, sound and energy healers are now disbanded and illegal in all states except Texas, who continue threatening to secede.
The new food pyramid introduced by the government is now the most advanced and virtually perfect, influenced by some of the brightest minds from industry leaders like Monsanto, Kellogg, Wonder, Coke, Bayer and Perdue. Trans fat, hard liquor, bagels and smoking are taxed at 98%, because these substances cause complications that place unnecessary demands on what is a well functioning system of care, while aspirin is now added to our tap water, since a number of studies by completely independent third party labs have proven beyond a doubt, that it will reduce heart attacks by 23.7%, the biggest preventable killer in America. By a unanimous vote, all supplements are now available by prescription-only and are monitored and carefully dispensed by the Vioxx Safety Commission (VSC), under jurisdiction of the FDA. The same agency found “Organic” to be technologically inferior to genetically modified products, and an unnecessary expense to the household budget of the American public.
This is a wonderful time for us The People, I think that we’ve finally hit some version of an Ed Kennedy nirvana, that place where everything is at the pinnacle of excellence, the people are happy, healthy and don’t have to give virtually any thought to the financial stresses plaguing Europe and some of the developing countries in North America bordering our great nation.
I for one have had a fungus in my right toe nail for over 10 years, I went to the doctor a couple of times, they prescribed a medication that promptly did nothing, so I kind of gave up on it. It’s just the corner of the nail, and it doesn’t seem to be getting worse. I also have arthritic-psoriasis that I’ve been trying to heal without evidenced based medicine, mostly using unproven techniques like nutrition, exercise, supplementation, detoxification, stress management, and some teas used by generations of gullible natives whose only benefit had to be from the placebo effect. Like millions of Americans, I was forced into this system because of the unfair co-payment structure of the greedy insurance companies, making the best that real medicine has to offer, inaccessible.
Thankfully those days are behind us. Now that all medicine is free, like in Canada, I will go see every doctor listed in the new Pelosi National Medical Directory, until my problems are solved, and while there I’ll also get an HIV vaccination, can you believe I never got one.
Alex Lubarsky
Health Media Group, Inc.
www.healthmedia.us
